Saturday, March 8, 2014

I Opened The Nursery Door...

It’s been a hard weekend. I’m sorry I haven’t been around. Yesterday we had my cousin’s funeral. It was so hard to say goodbye. My family, although sad, all felt relief that my poor cousin wasn’t suffering anymore. She was such an amazing and strong warrior of God. She fought Cancer for so long, until her physical body could say no more, yet I knew her mind would never give up. We are all sadden by this loss, but the joy of knowing she is not in pain anymore, is starting to overcome that sadness. She will always be missed.

On the other hand, I’ve been dealing with my depression really well. I only had to take one Lorazapam throughout this entire weekend. That’s just great! The progress continues to be able to get through this. Maybe it’s my cousin, providing me a little of her strength to me. Now, in regards to baby, NO CALL YET! But I know it’ll come. I’m trying to be patient. But you just don’t understand how difficult it is to hear people asking, “ANY NEWS YET?” I know they are all concern and all excited for us, but trust us when we tell you that you would of heard us scream if we had received a call.

I did look inside the nursery today. Yup! Me. I opened the door and went in there… sat on the rocking chair, and did a little prayer. I must admit though that a few tears did appear. That fact that I was in that room, on a rocking chair, holding a stuffed animal, praying for my child, meant the world to me. I don’t know if the tears were of sadness or happiness that we were just waiting for the phone call. It’s so hard. I don’t intend to go in there any time soon. I didn’t want to leave now that I was in there. But once I closed the door behind me, I remembered how painful it is to be waiting.

I hope to provide you with “WE GOT A CALL” post soon. But for now, your prayers are so much wanted and appreciated.
-Nati Tristan-

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