Geez, a lot has happened since Saturday. Obviously, I’m not
posting every day, it’s fairly hard to do when you have a full time job and
full time school, plus your regular wife duties. Blah! Lol! But it’s good to
stay pre-occupied. It’s definitely kept my mind off the whole NO CALL thing.
That has been great.
Saturday was a good day, we spent it with family, still
supporting eachother over the loss of my cousin. My aunt, seems to be doing
much better. Although, I still keep being asked (EVERYTIME) if we got the call
yet. UGH! I understand everyone’s excited. I really do, but it’s so hard to
keep saying NO. They keep refreshing it in my mind that No, I’m not a mom yet!
Plus, if we would have gotten a call, wouldn’t we already have a child with us?
I just don’t know. It’s probably just me being irritated with the whole
situation. It’s probably very hard for people to understand why I feel this
way, but it’s just how it is.
Sunday was also a great day. Also spent it with family and
also enjoyed it very much. I was able to see both of my little nieces and my
little nephew today. That makes me happy. Anabella, Camila, and Ethan are my 3
little loves. My sister in law is pregnant and Camila will soon be a big
sister. So soon I will have two nephews and two nieces. I’m very blessed. We
are very blessed. I can’t wait to be able to have my baby so that he/she can
have fun playing with his/her cousins! What a dream that would be!
Monday… oh Monday! That was not a fun day. I had work. 8-5.
I felt a little on the edge that day in regards to mood. I think it was just
the thought that I found out 5 different women were pregnant yesterday. I went
to sleep Sunday night with a headache and truthfully, very sad. I thought I was
over it, but I wasn’t apparently. It’s so hard. It’s just so hard. I want to be
happy for them. I swear I do. That’s just the type of person I am. Happy for
everyone! But in situations like these, I just can’t. Many people don’t
understand why, but if you have been in a infertility situation as I am now,
you will definitely understand why I’m feeling this way.
To top it off, I had a ton of homework. As soon as I got off
work, I went to go have some chicken soup at my parents. Yummy! My mommy’s
cooking always gets me in a better mood. I had been craving it all day too! So
I quickly ate, then headed home. I’m in Chemistry this time around, and let me
just say, I was crying towards the end of the night, thinking that I’m going to
fail this class. I have a great GPA right now and I really don’t want it to get
ruined. My husband even tried to help me, but just couldn’t figure it out
either. I was so upset. I went to sleep really late.
I wake up Tuesday morning with a massive headache. I couldn’t
even sleep. But at least the homework had been turned in and I had the next two
days off. THANK GOD! Work was a good day as well. It was a gorgeous day! 70’s
and sunny. Awesome. I had lunch with my
husband again (since I had lunch with him the day before too). I got off work, checked the mail as I usually
do and BAM! Another reminder that we haven’t received the call.
I ordered a Carseat Canopy from the website about 2 months
ago. Soon after us getting the clear from inspection. I thought that by the
time it arrived, we would definitely have our baby… I was actually a little
annoyed that it was going to take so long to arrive because I wanted to have it
by the time the call came. Yeah, no need to worry about that now. It’s
definitely here before that… 2 months later to be exact!
It looked exactly as how I wanted it. It’s gorgeous… it made
my heart melt to think this little blanket was for my baby… it even had its
nick name on it. It matched its nursery. It’s perfect. Just as perfect as Baby
Tristan will be. I can’t wait to have our baby.
I tried to think positive and I did. I know it’s going to
happen. It can’t NOT happen. It’s just a matter of waiting. Patiently. As if it
weren’t important… so it doesn’t consume your mind… heart… life!
We went out to have a nice dinner at a restaurant we had
been wanting to try. It was nice to go out and have a nice dinner with my
husband. We hadn’t done that in a while. We then came home, rested a little,
went for a walk with our doggies, and then came home for a nice cup of tea
before bed. It was overall a great evening.
I can’t complain about the very blessed and amazing life I
have. The waiting part for “THE CALL” is what’s not letting me enjoy it.
Although, I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, it does. But evenings like
yesterday are the ones that remind me that everything will be ok. I have a
wonderful husband, and a great life overall.
We just have to continue praying for the call.
-Nati Tristan
Rainy and pretty Monday Morning. |
My Momma's Homemade Chicken Soup |
Living hell of a night with Chemistry Homework! |
Isn't it beautiful!? |
The new place we tried. |
Evening walk with my puppies. |
Ending the night with a nice cup of tea. Mug was given to me by my mom. |